how to be alone

this is possibly (probably) the best video I have ever watched on youtube. And we teenagers of our generation have watched a lot of youtube videos..

How to be alone is a poem written by Tanya Davis.

No summer. do not end.

Hi guys, just to clarify, I started writing this post 4 days ago and just finished this today.

Its the end of summer and the rush to get everything done  before leaving the country has begun. I'm leaving Singapore tomorrow and I still have a list of things to buy (things I need in Finland that are way cheaper here; which I do not think is rare for someone living in Finland-- the land of high tax)...

In my list are

- last minute gifts for my friends

- junk food for my brothers to sell at school (don't ask..)

- 10 (maybe more) boxes of contact lenses for the year..

- a Billabong pencil case

- face cream and/or wash

- Nair wax strips

etc..

and of course: the list of food I have to eat

- bean curd beancurd beancurd

- satay

- slurpee (cola and green apple mix)

- bubble tea

- teh tarik, teh halia, tea o limau. the list of tehs continues...

- paper tosei

- egg prata and fish curry

- milo dinosaur

I've been in Singapore for a month and a half and I feel like it's been a week or two at most.. It happens every summer at home. There can be no limit on the amount of time you spend with friends and family... And of course with summer concluding, another of school approaches.

This year at school, I will be in grade 10. This practically means PERSONAL PROJECT in the IB. This whole summer I've been stressing on what topic to base my project around. I'm sorry but the IB can be incredibly dense at times. Honestly you give 15-16 year olds a project to do for an entire year (which you now is fine.. its bearable) but then to not give us any limits or restrictions for the topic?! Like what the freaking heck. A boy last year did his project on "why the freaking owner of Manchester United FC should leave". -.- . I don't know..  Right now I'm just feeling stressed but honestly can't be bothered to think about it. I just want to skype my cousins in Singapore (yes at this point of the blog, I'm in Finland).

It's been really frustrating trying to think of a project topic that

1. I'm passionate about

2. Genuinely interested in

3. and has some substantial facts behind it..

I do not want to do a whole project with no substantial and valid information backing it. Gosh, why oh why do the IB NOT have any restrictions! It's so frustrating. I'm frustrated.

Right now I really can't be bothered with it...

bye. love.

i am a ungrateful child

i really want a camera

like a proper one.

i am stuck with my crappy iphone, god knows what pixelated piece of glass

yes this is a first world problem rant.

i feel very ungrateful but this still does not make me want a DSLR any less.

which is pretty ambitious as I haven't even owned a point and shoot.



ahhhhh.... longingss..

this song will save your life

really. I could write this whole blog post thing solely through quotes from THIS SONG WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE by Leila Sales. 

this book did not make me cry and it did have a somewhat (now) stereotypical 'drawn to suicide' main character. but, and this is a huge but-- this novel is not about suicide. like all my other favourite books, this wonderful wonderful book is about life. it is the story of Elise. Elise has a life of a thousands teenagers today. the whole novel is so wonderfully awkward and so real. Many quotes i loved and related to (extracted from goodreads) are pasted down below.

"Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don't know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn't you. That isn't you at all.”

“I had this feeling suddenly. I get this feeling a lot, but I don’t know if there’s one word for it. It’s not nervous or sad or even lonely. It’s all of that, and then a bit more. The feeling is I don’t belong here. I don’t know how I got here, and I don’t know how long I can stay before everyone else realizes that I am an impostor. I am a fraud. I’ve gotten this feeling nearly everywhere I have ever been in my life. There’s nothing you can do about it except drink some water and hope that it subsides. Or you can leave.” 

“I didn’t know. I feel sometimes like…there are all these rules. Just to be a person. You know? You’re supposed to carry a shoulder bag, not a backpack. You’re supposed to wear headbands, or you’re not supposed to wear headbands. It’s okay to describe yourself as likeable, but it’s not okay to describe yourself as eloquent. You can sit in the front of the school bus, but you can’t sit in the middle. You’re not supposed to be with a boy, even when he wants you to. I didn’t know that. There are so many rules, and they don’t make any sense, and I just can’t learn them all” 

“Tonight the Internet seemed filled with versions of me, like a fun house filled with mirrors. Some of them made me look prettier, and some of them made me look uglier, and some of them chopped me right in half, but none of them were right.” 

“Throughout it all, you are still, always, you: beautiful and bruised, known and unknowable.” 

and i now quote, “That's the problem with life. You never get enough time to stare at your ceiling and try to figure out what's going on.” 

Summertime Madness

Its summer oh summer... and I've been crap at posting. But I've been in Singapore; the city of sunnies, spaghetti (tops), sunblock, sandals and sweat.

And whilst I've been here, I've been on trips to KL (Kuala Lumpur) and JB (Johor Baru). It's made me realise how handy my toiletry/makeup/accessory roll up bag has been. Like seriously, I don't even have to unpack anything.

I bought this handy little thing in Stockmann Helsinki, Finland because I was in need (or want) of a makeup bag. It is by Duroy and costs around €20. It's no longer listed in Duroy's catalogue, but it might still be sold at Stockmann and other shop outlets... At the time I bought it, I did think it was pricy. I mean come on, I am student with no other income than my allowance. It was a stab in the leg. (I admit, that has to be the worst metaphor ever).

{My own photoshop/picmonkey creation which took a heck of a lot of time to make}

The first compartment holds all the makeup i brought to Singapore. I really minimised it to the essentials... The second contains perfume, brushes, eyelash curlers, tweezes and other gadgets.. The third has my toothpaste, toothbrush, face creams and other random 'junk I think I need but really don't', sorry I meant beauty products. The third holds all my accessories and a spare deodorant. I really am not a big accessory wearer. I just brought some earrings, a few bangles and necklaces with the occasional ring.

This bag has been so convient when travelling. I can just carry it around wherever without having the hassle of digging through a purse. It's organised (many compartments), waterproof, easy to manoeuvre (compact and can be hanged up or rolled up), an affordable price and is quite easy on the eyes...

{Non photoshopped image of the bag when partially rolled up}

Personally I really love this bag and would recommend purchasing it. You are not limited to using it the same way as I do here, you can use it for solely makeup (1:eyes 2:base 3: lips/cheeks 4: brushes) or accessories (1:earrings 2: bracelets 3:necklaces 4:rings) or you can use it for solely toiletries...

Why you gotta be so rude??

This had been the song of the summer in Singapore. Oh I guarantee it will get stuck in your head.



Rude by Magic! I love the vibes from this song, so raggae, so chill, so beachy, so summer.

Ahhh. Updates in process

So I've been awful at updating this past month. Surprisingly, I've been taking loads of pictures about my 'style' and foods I've been eating but haven't had time to post them :/ Yes I know, bad blogger!

Additionally I know it's no excuse but this past month in school has been a nightmare. Gosh the teachers + the exams right before Summer hols. I feel like tearing my hair out!!! This past week in particular has been chock-a-block. ABRSM Grade 5 Piano exams, Ballet performance where I sprained my ankle during rehearsals (not my finest hour I'll admit), Math test etc. 

So I want to apologise for procrastinating and getting everything yet nothing done. I don't know about you guys, but does anyone else complete all the small 'easy-to-do' homework tasks first to feel like they've actually accomplished something, then move on to the harder assignments? Honestly that is my life. I'll write out a list of stuff I have to do just so I can tick it afterwards and feel accomplished >.<"

Anyways, to the point of this post (there is actually no specific point..) I've just been really searching for some good music that I personally enjoy that is not pop. In my pre-teen years I was obsessed with pop and looking back I had a pretty awful taste in music. After loads of time spent searching spotify and rookiemag playlists, I have finally assembled a playlist of music that I really enjoy.

I'm not sure that we will have the same taste or if you will even enjoy the following music, but I do and would like to share it with y'all:

Mardy Bum by Artic Monkeys (who are the bomb dot com. Honestly how had I not discovered them earlier)

Shake Me Down by Cage The Elephant (love love this song. this is my chill out song)

Someday by The Strokes

Where is my mind by Pixies (One of my absolute favourites)

Crocodile Rock by Elton John (the odd one out in this list but still so ah-may-zing. Trust me it grows on you!!)

Listen and dive into the music. Submerge yourself. 

Is anyone actually reading this? *shrug