i am a ungrateful child

i really want a camera

like a proper one.

i am stuck with my crappy iphone, god knows what pixelated piece of glass

yes this is a first world problem rant.

i feel very ungrateful but this still does not make me want a DSLR any less.

which is pretty ambitious as I haven't even owned a point and shoot.



ahhhhh.... longingss..

this song will save your life

really. I could write this whole blog post thing solely through quotes from THIS SONG WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE by Leila Sales. 

this book did not make me cry and it did have a somewhat (now) stereotypical 'drawn to suicide' main character. but, and this is a huge but-- this novel is not about suicide. like all my other favourite books, this wonderful wonderful book is about life. it is the story of Elise. Elise has a life of a thousands teenagers today. the whole novel is so wonderfully awkward and so real. Many quotes i loved and related to (extracted from goodreads) are pasted down below.

"Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don't know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn't you. That isn't you at all.”

“I had this feeling suddenly. I get this feeling a lot, but I don’t know if there’s one word for it. It’s not nervous or sad or even lonely. It’s all of that, and then a bit more. The feeling is I don’t belong here. I don’t know how I got here, and I don’t know how long I can stay before everyone else realizes that I am an impostor. I am a fraud. I’ve gotten this feeling nearly everywhere I have ever been in my life. There’s nothing you can do about it except drink some water and hope that it subsides. Or you can leave.” 

“I didn’t know. I feel sometimes like…there are all these rules. Just to be a person. You know? You’re supposed to carry a shoulder bag, not a backpack. You’re supposed to wear headbands, or you’re not supposed to wear headbands. It’s okay to describe yourself as likeable, but it’s not okay to describe yourself as eloquent. You can sit in the front of the school bus, but you can’t sit in the middle. You’re not supposed to be with a boy, even when he wants you to. I didn’t know that. There are so many rules, and they don’t make any sense, and I just can’t learn them all” 

“Tonight the Internet seemed filled with versions of me, like a fun house filled with mirrors. Some of them made me look prettier, and some of them made me look uglier, and some of them chopped me right in half, but none of them were right.” 

“Throughout it all, you are still, always, you: beautiful and bruised, known and unknowable.” 

and i now quote, “That's the problem with life. You never get enough time to stare at your ceiling and try to figure out what's going on.” 

Summertime Madness

Its summer oh summer... and I've been crap at posting. But I've been in Singapore; the city of sunnies, spaghetti (tops), sunblock, sandals and sweat.

And whilst I've been here, I've been on trips to KL (Kuala Lumpur) and JB (Johor Baru). It's made me realise how handy my toiletry/makeup/accessory roll up bag has been. Like seriously, I don't even have to unpack anything.

I bought this handy little thing in Stockmann Helsinki, Finland because I was in need (or want) of a makeup bag. It is by Duroy and costs around €20. It's no longer listed in Duroy's catalogue, but it might still be sold at Stockmann and other shop outlets... At the time I bought it, I did think it was pricy. I mean come on, I am student with no other income than my allowance. It was a stab in the leg. (I admit, that has to be the worst metaphor ever).

{My own photoshop/picmonkey creation which took a heck of a lot of time to make}

The first compartment holds all the makeup i brought to Singapore. I really minimised it to the essentials... The second contains perfume, brushes, eyelash curlers, tweezes and other gadgets.. The third has my toothpaste, toothbrush, face creams and other random 'junk I think I need but really don't', sorry I meant beauty products. The third holds all my accessories and a spare deodorant. I really am not a big accessory wearer. I just brought some earrings, a few bangles and necklaces with the occasional ring.

This bag has been so convient when travelling. I can just carry it around wherever without having the hassle of digging through a purse. It's organised (many compartments), waterproof, easy to manoeuvre (compact and can be hanged up or rolled up), an affordable price and is quite easy on the eyes...

{Non photoshopped image of the bag when partially rolled up}

Personally I really love this bag and would recommend purchasing it. You are not limited to using it the same way as I do here, you can use it for solely makeup (1:eyes 2:base 3: lips/cheeks 4: brushes) or accessories (1:earrings 2: bracelets 3:necklaces 4:rings) or you can use it for solely toiletries...

Why you gotta be so rude??

This had been the song of the summer in Singapore. Oh I guarantee it will get stuck in your head.



Rude by Magic! I love the vibes from this song, so raggae, so chill, so beachy, so summer.

Ahhh. Updates in process

So I've been awful at updating this past month. Surprisingly, I've been taking loads of pictures about my 'style' and foods I've been eating but haven't had time to post them :/ Yes I know, bad blogger!

Additionally I know it's no excuse but this past month in school has been a nightmare. Gosh the teachers + the exams right before Summer hols. I feel like tearing my hair out!!! This past week in particular has been chock-a-block. ABRSM Grade 5 Piano exams, Ballet performance where I sprained my ankle during rehearsals (not my finest hour I'll admit), Math test etc. 

So I want to apologise for procrastinating and getting everything yet nothing done. I don't know about you guys, but does anyone else complete all the small 'easy-to-do' homework tasks first to feel like they've actually accomplished something, then move on to the harder assignments? Honestly that is my life. I'll write out a list of stuff I have to do just so I can tick it afterwards and feel accomplished >.<"

Anyways, to the point of this post (there is actually no specific point..) I've just been really searching for some good music that I personally enjoy that is not pop. In my pre-teen years I was obsessed with pop and looking back I had a pretty awful taste in music. After loads of time spent searching spotify and rookiemag playlists, I have finally assembled a playlist of music that I really enjoy.

I'm not sure that we will have the same taste or if you will even enjoy the following music, but I do and would like to share it with y'all:

Mardy Bum by Artic Monkeys (who are the bomb dot com. Honestly how had I not discovered them earlier)

Shake Me Down by Cage The Elephant (love love this song. this is my chill out song)

Someday by The Strokes

Where is my mind by Pixies (One of my absolute favourites)

Crocodile Rock by Elton John (the odd one out in this list but still so ah-may-zing. Trust me it grows on you!!)

Listen and dive into the music. Submerge yourself. 

Is anyone actually reading this? *shrug

Pro. Crastination.

Hi hi hi hi.

I'm feeling really pumped up today which is surprising because I just came back from ballet practice + rehearsal + doing some weird sprints. So physically I should be exhausted. I should also be practicing the piano right now but I'm typing this post and eating M&S welsh cakes. Yummy. That right there my friends is an example of procrastination. 

I'd like to think I'm organised, but is that the truth?

i don't know, how do you measure someones' organisation? Idk, but i do know that I love keeping a planner and making schedules for myself and in that sense I am organised. However I don't necessarily follow them 100% of the time. Make it 80%. Perhaps 70% is more accurate. I of course have days where I just CAN'T BE BOTHERED and can everyone (uhm mum) just GET OFF MY BACK!!!! Everyone has those days (quote Hannah Montana ^.^ ) and its alright to feel like that. Especially in my life, I am constantly busy and on a schedule. I do ballet 6 times a week and get home around 9. Now add the massive amount of homework / assignments / tests we get everyday. And then, I have to practice the piano for about an hour. Gr8t life.

But to be honest, I do have a great life. There are people that have it so much worse than me. Even though I collapse into my bed almost everyday, I really love what I do! I think some times I take these things for granted and I really need to step back once in a while and just be grateful. (Yes I just ooze of cheese).

BACK on topic, I want to say that I am an extremely busy person and it is kind off necessary for me to be organised. Yes being organised is already in my nature, but I do have to make an effort everyday to balance everything. I just want to say that if you do know that you put the pro in procrastinate, I have the single most important tip for you. That actually works.. That'll be €15.99 folks. [I'm just joking around].

SO the tip is to delete all distractions. I am not even kidding. Very simple and quite obvious. If you know that you get distracted by apps on your phone or them constantly buzzing, either silent the notifications or delete the app. This is what I did (and no my mum did not force me, I actually came up with the idea) and I deleted twitter, facebook and instagram of my phone. I'm not asking you to delete your account, but just to delete the app. I found that I hardly went on these platforms on my laptop and just on my phone. I didn't actually "want" to go on the app, but just went on them because I needed a distraction. 

This same rule can apply to people. Honestly if you know that you have a friend that constantly distracts you why are you even studying with them. They might be great fun but at the end of the day don't lie to yourself by thinking you are honestly going to get any work done. I know that I don't study well with others and so I be honest and study by myself (like a loner). Yes it might not be as "fun" but you're there to get a job done. I think you shouldn't try to kid yourself. You are the only one who knows your body + mind and how it best works.

Okay so thats it I guess. Here's a song that I found that gets quite annoying some times but is great for your procrastination moments.

I wish that I was one of those bloggers with seriously cool pictures, but that's not the case with me. I am sorry. I'm working on it. 

Online Love

This is going to be a quick post as I really have to study for my science test tomorrow :/.

Cyber bullying is a topic everyone should be familiar with. Yet we are still victors and victims to it. Why?

Many have the misconception that cyber bullying is "trolling" or "hacking" someone. And yes, they are forms of cyber bullying. But there are also other minor forms that we see every time we log on to social media platforms. They are the "you're so ugly ahha just jk" and "you pig" and "ahaha wtf ur so weird" and "ahah you retard lol". Let's make things clear, adding a :) or jk or lol or ahhaahah DOES NOT make your comment any nicer.

I was thinking about this, and actually grew quite frustrated. This frustration actually motivated me to make some posters. Yes, weird connection but call it my "therapy".

You can see how my rant and my poster relate to each other.

Another poster I made is this beautiful one below. 

How gorgeous. It's my punch of a message wrapped up with a bow. I love how everything is clean and minimalist, a style I've been using in my artworks recently. 

This probably does not qualify as a proper blog post, but I really wanted to share my current thoughts. If anyone is reading...